Essay --

Our marriage may be over, but our family is not; doing what is best for the girls should be our most important priority. The first step to being a mature, responsible co-parent is to always put our children's needs ahead of our own. It is apparent that we do our best to be there for them as their mother and father. They are a product of both of us and they need both of us in their lives for their long-term well-being. It's been long due that we have a discussion in regards to the children's well being. I hope that in no way that the girls are to gain information or to be manipulated and influenced by either of us in a negative way. Also to not be emotional needy that they develops feelings of guilt or anxiety if or by spending time with one more than the other. Furthermore, not to depend too much on the girls for companionship and support because you are feeling hurt or lonely. I do not intend and I hope that there is no intent on sabotaging the girls relationship with either of us. All of these little problems adds up to huge burden on the children with a situation they cannot control and this could have long term effects on their mental health. They should not bear such a responsibility. It will promote feelings of helplessness and insecurity, causing them to question their own strengths, abilities, self-worth and confidence in future. As parents we should encourage ourselves to only speak positively about one another around or to the girls and there should be no discussion around them that furthers their insecurity such as what you did when I picked them up the other day. Issues of financial insecurity should be discussed private as adults and without the children present. We must agree on boundaries and behavioural guidel... ...ns: 1. The weekly schedule should be changed on a final basis so that all residency issues may be set aside. This should give the girls the stability they require. 2. That there be limited contact with the children when they are with the other parent so that time spent is quality time and there are no distractions and less emotional turmoil. 3. That you allow the children to sleep in their own beds on their own as it is causing disruption when I try to put them in bed on their own. 4. That the children should not be an emotional crutch by trying to convince them that whom is the more loving and responsible parent. As this ca only lead to more insecurity within them not wanting to disappoint either of us. Your understanding of these terms would go a long way towards the well-being of the children and that should be your only primary concern. Regards, Natalie